Absentee voting

I voted an absentee ballot last week, though I'm not sure it will ever arrive in the USA. I did take it to the consulate so it would get there on time. I've always heard consulates and embassies are like foreign soil, a little outpost where the other country exists in miniature. I was kind of imagining that I would step inside and there would be a guy in a Hawaiian shirt barbecuing steaks. Or at least a seasoned bureaucrat with a firm handshake and a no nonsense attitude who always displays a framed photograph of the current president next to the miniature flag on his desk.

Instead, I found myself waiting in line on the sidewalk to talk to some low level Mexican security guard through a staticky microphone on the other side of a window. No old glory rippling proudly in the breeze, no English spoken, no one with any particular knowledge of absentee voting procedures. I knew I was in trouble when the Mexican lady in front of me started griping (in Spanish of course) that she couldn't understand the guy behind the window because of all the static.

I had left the envelope unsealed because I figured if I had done something wrong, an embassy official could help me. Realizing that there would be no such help, I went to seal the envelope only to realize that there was no glue on the flap. It makes sense, really. In a country without a functioning mail system, why would you need to seal an envelope? The guy behind the window had nothing to seal the envelope with. He suggested that if I came back next week there would be an election official who could help me. Instead of taking his recommendation to try voting after election day, I went running all over the block looking for glue, or envelopes, or something. I ended up taping it together with dollar-storesque clear tape. Then I wasn't sure if it needed postage or not. Does the embassy deliver it directly to election officials or just to the Post Office or something? The security guard assured me that no postage was necessary. I'd brought a bunch of stamps anyway. When I tried to explain that I would put stamps on it just in case, he became upset. Hadn't he just told me that it didn't need stamps? Was I doubting his integrity?

So if it's really close in Illinois, and my one lone vote does matter, the election could well turn on the quality of Mexican scotch tape or the wounded pride of some random security guard.